How to Select the Right Therapist For You
If you’re thinking about starting therapy, there’s usually a reason.
Maybe things have felt off for a while. Maybe you and your partner keep having the same argument. Maybe anxiety, stress, or something from the past keeps showing up in ways that are hard to manage.
Whatever brought you here, I want to say this first: it makes sense if you are feeling that finding a therapist feels overwhelming.
There are a lot of options. Different specialties, different approaches, different personalities. And when you’re already dealing with something difficult, trying to sort through all of that can feel like one more thing on your plate.
The good news is: you don’t need to find the perfect therapist. You’re just looking for someone who’s a good fit for you.
Start With the Issue You Want Help With
When I meet with someone for the first time, I’m trying to understand what’s been happening in their life.
So before you start your search, take a minute to think about:
What’s been most difficult lately?
Is this something that’s been building over time, or something more recent?
Am I looking for help individually, or in a relationship?
You don’t need to have it all figured out. Even a general sense of what’s going on can help you find someone who works with those kinds of concerns.
Look for Someone Who Understands What You’re Facing
Not every therapist focuses on the same things.
In my own work, I spend a lot of time helping couples navigate communication, conflict, and disconnection. I also work with individuals dealing with anxiety, stress, trauma, and relationship patterns.
When you’re looking at therapists, it’s worth asking:
Do they regularly work with the issues I’m dealing with?
Do they seem comfortable working with individuals, couples, or families like mine?
You don’t need someone who has your exact life experience, but you do want someone who understands the kinds of patterns you’re dealing with and knows how to work with them.
Pay Attention to How They Approach Therapy
There are a lot of different types of therapy out there, and it can get confusing quickly.
What matters more than the name of the approach is how the therapist actually works with you.
In my practice, I tend to be active in sessions. I’ll help you slow things down, notice patterns, and understand what’s happening underneath the surface.
Some therapists are more structured. Others are more open-ended. A good sign is when a therapist can explain their approach in a way that feels clear and practical, not overly complicated.
Don’t Overthink Experience
Experience matters, but more isn’t always better.
I’ve been doing this work for over a decade, and what I’ve found is that what really makes a difference isn’t just years of experience; it’s how therapist is in the room.
Instead of focusing only on credentials, ask yourself:
Do they seem thoughtful about how they work?
Do they explain things in a way that makes sense?
Do I feel like they’re actually trying to understand me?
Be Practical About Cost and Availability
Therapy needs to be something you can realistically stick with.
As you’re looking, it’s okay to consider:
Session cost
Insurance coverage
Scheduling availability
For example, in my own practice, I offer a free consultation so we can both get a sense of whether it feels like a good fit before committing to ongoing sessions.
You’re allowed to ask questions about this. In fact, I’d encourage it.
The Most Important Factor: The Relationship
If there’s one thing I want you to take away from this, it’s this:
The relationship you have with your therapist vital to successful therapy and matters more than their credentials.
You should feel like:
You can be honest, even when it’s uncomfortable
You’re being understood, not judged
The therapist is actually engaged with you
The therapist’s practices are ethical*
In couples work especially, I see this all the time. Real change starts to happen when people feel safe enough to slow down and really understand each other.
Not every therapist is going to be the right fit. That’s normal. If something feels off, you’re allowed to trust that. And you’re allowed to try someone else.
Finding The Right Therapist Is A Process
Therapy is about understanding yourself more clearly, recognizing patterns that aren’t working, and learning how to relate differently to yourself and to the people in your life.
*While I’m not at liberty to speak for other therapists, I take ethics very seriously. We respect our client’s privacy and we subscribe to the Code of Conduct as maintained by the American Psychological Association. I’m also committed to marketing ourselves in an ethical way, which is why we work with partners such as Marketing For Therapists.